Monday, April 11, 2022

36

At the edge of importance is what, is gut, is the mantra again and again: go with your gut! Well, my gut has a thousand vessels, enters from too many points and tries to take me everywhere else. Gut says: poetry. Gut says: you need to be with the people you love. Gut says: yes. Gut says: no. Gut says: if someone understands the idea of the openness, the not-knowing-what-to-say, the way what is sought after is always unfinished, a call against a call, gut says: follow that. Gut says: language is the space in which it happens, until it isn’t language and becomes bodies, the two of us sitting on cold sand, wearing masks. Gut says: go home, you need to be with the trees. Okay, so I didn’t do that, I followed a different gut, the one that says, you don’t need to do something so hard, you don’t need to challenge yourself more than the challenge that already awaits. Again and again, the project: how to be with you. And within that struggle gut opens its gut, has its own will, eats everything then asks for another bowl. Gut needs to eat! And still gut speaks, says: you need to change your life, only to fantasize about a backyard with bougainvillea, some friends, and a warm evening a few miles from the sea.

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73

Look, this made me think of you. Beneath a few oak trees, N and I watched a whole lifecycle, worms crawling along bark, moths midair, empty ...